PEOPLE WONDER WHY TECH SUPPORT GUYS R PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING

ON THE PHONE.


TAKE A LOOK: *

1 ) *Tech Support *: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok." *
Tech Support : *"Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No." *
Tech Support : *"Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No." *
Tech Support : *"Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."


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2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message." *
Tech Support : *"Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"


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3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word." *
Tech Support : *"Tell me what you've done."


Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'." *
Tech Support : *"Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'." *
Tech Support : *"Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?" *
Tech Support: *"Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."


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4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?" *
Tech Support : * ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)


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5). *Tech Support : *"Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can
you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?" *
Tech support : *##### ***


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6) *Tech Support : *"What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one." *
Tech support : *******_____ ####

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7). *Tech Support : *"What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium." *
Tech support : *////-----++ +

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8). Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion." *
Tech support : *??????

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9).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder." *
Tech Support : *?!%#$




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10). *Customer : *"How do I print my voicemail?" *
Tech support : *??????

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11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print
document, but the computer won't boot properly." *
Tech Support : *"What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk." *
Tech Support : *"Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside." *
Tech support : *@@@@@

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12). *Tech Support: *"Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours." *
Customer: *"Is that Eastern time?"

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13). *Tech Support : *"What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'." *
Tech Support : *"Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?" *
Tech support : **** ---- ++++

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The best of the lot
14). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his
computer is faulty. *
Tech: *What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply. *
Tech: *(keep quite) *
Tech: *You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files. *
Tech: *Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and
it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command. *
Tech support:: *
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is
frustrated and fed up. *
Tech support:: *(hush hush) *
Tech: *Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is
an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it! *
Tech : *Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM <http://nosmoke. com/> at the end
of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking. *
Tech : *Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22. *
Tech : *That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the
file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply. *
Tech support : *How did you come to that conclusion? *
Tech support : * (hush hush)
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply. *
Tech: *Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

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Hight Of all (Too Good)
15) *customer care officer: *I need a product identification number right
now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Cust: sure *
CCO: *could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
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